As most everyone is aware of by now I'm sure, Mindy McCready sadly and unsurprisingly took her own life (and that of her dog) yesterday on the same porch in Heber Springs, Arkansas where her boyfriend and father of her youngest son died of a gunshot wound just last month.
While most of us will never understand what was going through Mindy's mind when she decided to turn the gun on herself, it turns out that when she died she was attempting to shed light on the demons that had haunted her for most of her life by writing a book.
Back in January of 2012, Mindy had tweeted about the autobiography she was working on.
Here's an overview of a future book about my life story. I'll post chapter excerpts periodically. Watch for them!! mindymccreadyfans.com/overview-futur…— Mindy McCready (@mindymccready) January 19, 2012
In the excerpt she referenced, Mindy wrote:
The following is an overview of a future book about my life.
I haven’t had a hit in almost a decade. I’ve spent my fortune, tarnished my public view, and made myself the brunt of punch line after punch line. I’ve been beaten, sued, robbed, arrested, jailed, and evicted. But I’m still here. With a handful of people that I know and trust, a revived determination, and both middle fingers up in the air, I’m ready. I’ve been here before. I’m a fighter. I’m down, but I’ll never be out.
This book is not about shifting blame. I know I’ve made mistakes and I take full responsibility for those mistakes. This book is part diary, part therapy, part confessional, part job, and part apology. But mostly, I just want people to understand me better. So when people like Nancy Grace or the TMZ parasites pass judgment, they can do so with the full story.
So here it is, the story of Mindy McCready. My story.
Please remember, this is only an overview of the book. I’ll be posting chapter excerpts periodically.
Some people have lived such extraordinary lives that their story begs to be written as the rest of the world waits for the chance to peek in at the fame, fortune, violence, scandal, and shocking behavior from a safe distance.
I am one such person.
My drive came from an abusive upbringing and the dependence of two younger brothers. My fame came from my success as a country music singer. My infamy came from outside my career: Bar-brawls, secret affairs, domestic violence, drug charges, jail time, rehab stays, and suicide attempts. I could say that the information was taken out of context, blown out of proportion and completely misconstrued, and a lot of it was. Some things, however– more than I’d like to admit– are just the sad truth. But what nobody knows are the details behind the splashy headlines. The person I am, the intentions behind every bad decision, and events leading up to each “I can’t believe I did that” moment. This book will supply me the opportunity to show that I’m not so different from my fans and antagonists.
I was an underdog from birth. I was born into an unhealthy house ruled by a mother who was too young and too violent to successfully take care of children. My two brothers who would eventually look to me for rescue came later. Nature gave me the ability to sing and favorable looks. My mother taught me the art of manipulation and convenient detachment. My father taught me to depend on no one. My brothers showed me the necessity to succeed and sever the dependence on our parents. Armed with this, I graduated high school early and moved to Nashville to be a star.
Two years later that is just what I was. With my first album I became one of the top selling debut female country artists of all time. The view from the top of the charts was inspiring but fleeting. The men I dated on the way up and the way down were incredible and terrifying. I’ve been engaged to a movie star, courted by a prince, kept by a professional baseball player, and nearly beaten to death by the man who would father my son.
Now, I have no delusions about my seemingly precarious situation. I have served a total of seven months in jail. I have just spent six week at an inpatient facility where I worked with doctors and counselors every day. The FBI and U.S. Congress are currently seeking my testimony against Roger Clemens, a man I once loved. My public persona is badly warped and bears little resemblance to the person those closest to me know. My musical career has been on hold for several years. Still I have a record deal, a reality TV show in the making, a full team of managers, lawyers and assistants, and a new clarity to accompany my devilish determination and ferocious work ethic. I’m ready for whatever comes next. I’m down but I’ll never be out. This extraordinary life, begging to be written, is a comeback story.
Mindy continued to post excerpts from the book until last year with the last, chapter 3, being on June 4th. There's no word on whether Mindy ever completed the book or if she had a publisher willing to publish it, but I'm sure if she did we'll be seeing it on book shelves in the very near future due to the unfortunate turn of events. Maybe Mindy will have one last chance to have a #1.