I'm a nervous ninny and I have a voice meant to write blogs

Oh yes, the big news.  I can now reveal my two secrets. 

First off the big kahuna, the cheesy enchilada, the sundae with a cherry on top.  Yours truly, well my website Nashville Gab anyway, is going to be gracing the inside of Country Weekly's December issue.  Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had to wait for the magazine to be on its way to the printer before I could say anything and today I got the word that I was safe to announce it. 

The December issue hits stores November 17 and you can check it out then.  Me, myself, I will be picking up like 30 copies to pass out to my family and friends and they will be excited for me whether they like it or not.  Nashville Gab will be in the "What's Online" section and I'm so friggin' excited.  It's been hard not to tell you guys these last two weeks but I didn't want to jinx it by saying anything.  Anyway, that's the big news.  I feel so much better having finally gotten to say it.

The second big news is that I finally decided to give radio a shot.  I have been asked by three different radio stations to do a weekly on air gossip roundup and I had turned them all down because, quite frankly, I'm a freak.  I was actually just pretty much scared shitless. 

Finally my husband told me that if I wanted to make something of this little blog then I was going to have to take every opportunity to get the word out about it - even if it meant doing something I was extremely nervous about doing.  Fudge, I hate when he's right. 

So I got a hold of Broadway yesterday at The Electric Barnyard and said I'd go ahead and give it a whirl.  I'm also still talking to the other two radio stations about possibly working with them, but since they want to do things a little different I'm not sure if those will work out or not.  Well Broadway said great, we'll do it Thursday.  Awesome.....wait, as in tomorrow Thursday?  No rest for the weary I guess. 

So Thursday it was.  I went through a bunch of possible gossip to talk about, listened to Narc and Country Music Is Love when they had their gossip roundup with Broadway (Tuesdays in case you want to check it out), and wrote out some nice notes of things to talk about, and then practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced some more.  Big mistake.  I ended up just talking myself into a big ol' knot in my stomach.

Have I ever mentioned I'm slightly obsessive?  I'm the type of person who will rehearse conversations to the bank before I call.  Seriously.  You may think I'm kidding but unfortunately I'm not.  Heck, I will go over in my head 10 times what I'm going to say to my husband before I call him, I'm really that anal.  Well Broadway called me up at 4:30 like he said he was going to and I was ready.  I had everything memorized and I was gonna be good.  Ooops, false alarm.  He needed a little more time to get some other stuff done that he was working on.

Damn.  So I had another half hour to go over in my head what I was going to say.  Yep, I was gonna be ready.  I sat on my bed (the quietest spot in my house), but that wasn't comfy so I headed into my bathroom.  Wait, do I really want to perform my very first radio appearance sitting on the commode?  Nahh, back up and into my bedroom I went.  I laid on my stomach.  I sat up.  I laid on my stomach again.  I stood up.  I paced a little.  I sat down again.  On the TV Will Smith was talking but nothing was coming out of his mouth.  Fascinating.  Have you ever put your TV on mute and tried to read people's lips?  Total funness.  After lip reading for a minute I came to the conclusion that Will was either talking about his new movie or talking about having sex with Tom Cruise, still not quite sure which it was.  

5:00 the phone rang.  "Are you ready Shannon?"  Yep, I was ready.  I was totally and completely ready. 

"Okay, it goes something like this."  And Broadway started in on his intro.  Wait, was that a practice run?  My mind went blank. 

"Oh, do I go now?"  I asked.  Ha ha.  Here he is ready to talk some gossip and I ask "do I go now?"  Oops.  False start.  Yep, it was my turn to speak.  Uhmmm, hello, my mind was now completely blank.  Shit!

Good thing I had detailed notes.  So I started reading my notes.  Have I ever mentioned that besides being completely obsessive and anal, I have really, really bad handwriting?  Sigh. 

So there I sat trying to decipher my chicken scratch notes and the whole time my mouth is dry, I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, the clock is ticking very loudly on the wall - tick tick tick tick - my kids are playing some sort of game of kill the cat or see whose arm can get broken first in the living room (did I not beat them enough as toddlers?  I asked them to be quiet and they've totally ignored me.  Note to self...must beat children more regularly), my mouth is dry, my mouth is really, really dry, oh crap my lips were like sticking to my teeth.  Is this normal?  My stomach was churning and - hmmm, maybe sitting on the toilet was the better choice for my first radio appearance after all. 

Okay, two things generally happen when I get nervous.  One, I talk extremely fast.  My voice gets sort of nasally and I sound like I'm auditioning for some sort of auctioneer reality show.  The second thing is I forget to breathe.  I mean I quite literally have to stop talking to take a breath every once in a while.  I also quite often sound like I'm about to break into tears at any moment, probably from the lack of oxygen to my brain in my times of forgetting to take a breath.  Now mind you I'm on the phone trying to sound completely like I know what I'm talking about.  Simultaneously I'm talking about Taylor Swift, trying to remember to breathe, my lips are sticking to my teeth, I'm wanting to visit the toilet something fierce, and I sound like I'm an auctioneer who is ready to burst into tears.  I'm doing GRRRREAT!

Then it happens.  Broadway asked a question.  Uhmm, no one told me there would be questions in this exchange.  WTF?  I can barely get through my once-beautifully-memorized spiel, now I have to actually think?  I winged it and said something along the lines of "uhhh, yeah, uhhh, yeah" (because repeating it makes it sound so much more believable).  So when I get the pod cast and post it, listen for when we come to the point in the conversation that we're talking about Joe Jonas breaking up with Taylor.  Did he leave a message or did he tell her on the phone.  Well I've heard both versions, he left a 27 second voice mail and I've heard that he actually told Taylor directly.  Unfortunately in my oxygen-deprived, sticky-lipped state of mind I could not come up with the correct answer so I said "uhhh, yeah, uhhh, yeah."  Priceless. 

Well my short radio stint came to an end.  Broadway finished up by saying he'd talk to me next Thursday and every Thursday at 7:30.  Uhmm, really?  Are you sure?  Were we part of the same conversation?  Is firing someone from a free gig a possibility because I'd totally be okay with being let go; I mean I understand, sometimes these things just don't work out.  Really, I'll completely be okay with it.  

Broadway and Crawl did a little pep talk and then it was over.   I sat with the phone in my hand just a little dazed.  Do you suppose Crook and Chase ever had days like this? 

So there you go, my first official radio appearance, warts, panic attacks and all.  And you wanna know something?  I'm actually totally excited for next week.  Woot woot. 

Download 1106_broadway_podcast.mp3

Comments

[CountryMusicIsLove]

That's all so exciting - congrats!

[Shannon]

Oh hey thanks mom. LOL. Yes, that was really my mom...sounding just like a mom. Love you!

[Your Mom]

Shannon, You were a real pro, sounded like you been at it forever. Your blog seems to be taking off like a sky-rocket. You sound so happy and your going to have nothing but success in every thing you do, Congrats Shannon, I am so proud of you.

[Your Mom]

Shannon, I can't beleive your as good as any pro I've ever heard, But of course it shouldn't surprise me, that's just life for you, PERFECT no matter what you try. I'm so proud of you, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

[smokeyjoe]

Congrats to you!! Way to take Nashville Gab to the masses!!!

[Diana]

Great news Shannon! Congratulations!!! Its always nice when something you love to do receives recognition. Hope everything goes your way and your little "blog" that I always check first thing online grows and grows.

[broadway]

u did great! thanks for letting us be your 'first'! = )